March 10, 2025
Confronting Childhood Trauma - Part 1
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Facing the past isn’t easy… Join us as we confront childhood trauma and begin the healing.
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Chapters
00:00 - Confronting Childhood Scars
07:50 - Living Under a Countdown
15:30 - COVID's Lasting Impact on Mental Health
22:10 - Breaking the Cycles We Pass Down
32:30 - Anxiety, Self-Image, and Family Patterns
41:40 - Caller Shares Her Story of Insecurity
51:30 - Looking Forward to Healing with Therapy
Transcript
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best as she could.
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I know that now as a mother.
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As a parent, I know that now right, but it took years.
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Throughout a large part of my adult life, I really thought I was a nobody.
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What I accepted from other people, what I accepted in relationships, what I accepted from people that I thought were my friends, was crazy as hell.
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We have such a huge impact on our children.
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I can look in and see the things and the flaws and it's okay.
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This is Legra.
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This is Stephanie, this is Cherie.
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And this is Ivanya, and this is Timeless and Unfiltered where we are spilling the tea on midlife.
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One laugh at a time.
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That was so funny.
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I'm Stephanie, I'm Cherise and I'm Evanya where we are spilling the tea on midlife.
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One laugh at a time and we're asking everyone to like follow and subscribe.
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We are asking everyone, we are asking everyone y'all don't want me to cuss.
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We're asking everyone politely to like, follow and subscribe.
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We love you.
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Hey, sanher, she said love you.
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Well, hey, this episode probably is going to be a little bit more serious.
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Yeah, and it just came across my mind because the last episode where we were talking about self-care, where we were talking about self-care, and it just made me think of some of the things that, just listening to all of our conversations, some of the things that we've brought from childhood with us, that we are still carrying today, good or bad Right.
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Good or bad and, as y'all can see, I'm sorry.
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The fifth co-host started the show with us today, because this hot flash has been lasting about 10 minutes.
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I'm trying to get through it.
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But hello, welcome to menopause and midlife.
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Okay, um, but it made me think about some of the things, or, when I listen to your stories, some of the things that I think may have triggered like you still have triggers you still have trauma that even we don't even realize we're carrying it.
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I just want to say for the record stephanie, your hair is killing right now I'm looking at the print.
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Turn to the camera so you can see the design and the print.
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And I was just like come on, stephanie, she's so jazzy the original barber doll hello, you did it yourself.
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No, oh the lady that cuts my hair.
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Her name is the original barber, doll.
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Okay, well, shout out to the camera.
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That's right, the original barber doll.
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Okay, where'd they find her?
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She bad, where'd she?
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go Katie On.
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Instagram Original barber doll that's a cute doll.
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That's a cute doll, I love that.
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Yeah, she slayed your hair.
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She's a famous barber.
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She cuts famous people Us.
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Are we doing?
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the same clips, the same clippers.
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Put his clippers on me, girl.
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Yes, yes, yes.
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I just had to say that I called a look and I was like, okay, we'll come through here.
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Thank, you but yeah, I just think.
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It just made me think about some of the things that I didn't realize I was carrying, as we were talking about just even our self-care and how we take care of ourselves, or don't take care of ourselves and the things that we pass on to our kids.
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I was thinking about, you know, the things I said I passed on to my son, and it just made me wonder like, hey, amanda, what else am I dealing with that I'm really not dealing with.
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Right, so I thought we'd sit back today and talk about some of our childhood triggers, trauma.
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And this is actually part one.
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Part two, we're going to have Dr Angela Montfort come on and sit down and talk with us.
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What do you guys?
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think about that.
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Yeah, I think that's good Okay.
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Now we know we have some people who are very private and who don't like sharing her business.
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So whatever you, like to share or don't share for the world to see whatever we want to share or don't share is completely up to you, or how deep you want to go into.
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It is completely up to you.
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No, there's no pressure.
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No pressure.
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I was thinking about when I was younger.
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I think about what kind of drives me even to today is I think about my mother.
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I think about how hard my mother died at the age of 54.
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I'm 55.
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I'm 55.
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Wow, and I remember coming up to my 54th birthday and I remember actually when I hit 50, even though you don't realize you're doing it in the back of my head I was counting down to 54.
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Because my mother was in our minds pillar of health right, she ain't healthy.
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She looked great, boom, she said boom.
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She gone like that quick.
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So in my mind I've always was counting down to 54 and I know that her death mean it doesn't have anything, but it's just something that just it do.
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That's just there.
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So I remember for my 54th birthday.
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I remember how monumental it was and it was something about 55.
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I even mentioned it to my son, like I made it like I made it, whatever that was.
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I got past that, that I didn't realize.
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Even with that I had a fear of dying for about four or five years.
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No, and that was just because my mother passed unexpectedly.
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I don't know.
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I don't have a relationship with a lot of the side of her family.
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I've just recently reconnected with one of my aunts, which I'm very happy and excited about and honestly don't know why we disconnected.
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So I don't really have family history to know.
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Like is there something that runs in my family?
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Like, even when my mother passed, her death was labeled heart failure.
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When they don't know what's wrong your heart stopped, it's called heart failure.
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And when they don't have a specific reason, it's labeled heart failure because your heart stopped.
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But we really don't know what was wrong with my mother Dang.
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So I had this.
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She didn't have a diagnosis.
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No, they had no idea what was wrong with my mother.
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That is the leading cause of death around women, isn't it?
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Heart failure and that's why, Well the thing was when she had first taken ill, they actually had the CDC come in.
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They took 94 vials of blood from my mother because they couldn't diagnose what was going on so like she got to have something rare or something whatever, and over the course of time they they had her in intensive care.
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They took over 94 vials of blood.
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And still couldn't determine.
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No.
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Come on.
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She was healthy.
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But why is she here?
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Why is she have fluid around her heart, fluid around her lungs, all those kinds of things?
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But there was no.
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They couldn't medically diagnose what was going on with her.
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So, but when she passed and if you, when they can't give you a diagnosis your heart did stop.
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Yeah, so it's called heart failure.
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So her diagnosis was heart failure.
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And.
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But y'all said her heart was fine, she had a cardiologist.
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But when your heart stopped it failed Right.
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So heart failure.
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But really you don't know why heart stop, it failed, right.
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So heart failure, but really you don't know why.
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So I think I realized and this was a new realization that I think one reason why I've worked so hard the last couple years because I'm I was doing a countdown yeah how old were you?
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when your mother passed 30, 30 something girl.
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I can't even remember 30 something, yeah, but she was only 54 but she was 54 in a pillar of health and then boom, she was gone.
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And it was so quick and it was instant and there was no no, I think, gosh, my grandmother died at 55.
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And I thought that was old until now.
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At that time, yeah, and now I'm like oh, that was young.
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That's young and I think you don't understand it until you get closer to that age and you're like, oh no, I'm still moving, I'm vibrant.
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And you're like, no, I still feel good and young.
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So I realized she was young when she passed, my grandma was 65 and I feel the same with my mom because my mom got into her 60s and I'm like you see, you're doing the countdown.
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Because you don't know, you know and I think when it happens early like that, it puts something in your brain but I did not realize.
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For the last couple of years I've been doing the countdown so I work like crazy and I just obviously had that realization.
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Probably a couple of years I've been doing a countdown so I worked like crazy and I just obviously had that realization probably a couple of days ago so that's something that needs to be unpacked.
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Yeah, yeah well, the great thing is, cherise introduced me to dr Angela and we're getting ready to start.
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We're gonna sit down and actually have some private therapy sessions because I got a whole lot of other shit I need to unpack.
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But it ain't just that y'all, it ain't just that.
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But I got a whole lot of other shit I need to unpack but I didn't realize I have been living under a countdown.
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I think we all kind of live under a clock some type of way.
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We think that we know the day is coming.
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We don't know when and then now I feel like I'm starting to see a lot of younger people pass earlier.
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When I was younger.
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I didn't see it.
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Everybody who passed was old.
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I remember my family was old by the time I came around, but then the older, I got classmates started passing.
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co-workers started passing and I'm like oh so my brother passed.
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He was 30.
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Like, a lot of stuff starts hitting you Was your brother ill?
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He was not.
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That was a whole other story.
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Running from the cops, oh no.
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Yeah but yeah, that's a whole other thing.
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But you realize now that tomorrow really isn't a promise to anybody Like anything.
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First of all, a car can hit you.
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You never know, but illness can hit you like suddenly, you just don't know.
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So you do have to live for today.
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You do have to live for today.
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You do have to realize that whatever you can do today, get it done today, whatever trip you want to take, take it now, because you don't know, next year you're going to be here to do it, so, or if you lock down in your house and can't go nowhere that's true, covid.
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Yeah, that traumatized me.
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Yeah, covid traumatized you.
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Yes, god that's why I get out and do everything I want to do.
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I used to procrastinate, but I procrastinate.
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I think a lot of people realize that we took a lot of things for granted, like being able to go to a restaurant and sit down and eat, to be able to go to a friend's house, to be able to travel.
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Was it like a year?
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They had us on lock?
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Things were like.
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That traumatized me.
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I didn't like being shut in and shut away like that.
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So that's what I do.
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It was scary and the people were dying in the hospital and you couldn't even see your loved ones you had to say goodbye on a laptop or it's like, yeah, that, that was scary that was and that's like why I don't watch the news to this day, because you know they used to have the.
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We have two million people now infected and every day and I was like was like, this is my anxiety, I can't take this, and I stopped watching it because it was just so so terrible.
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It traumatized me.
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I think it traumatized a lot of people.
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It really did though it really did.
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It made me lazy Really, that damn Uber Eats came out and Instacart.
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To this day.
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I don't go to the grocery store and I was like you gotta stop doing that because you're spending a lot of money on fees.
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Yeah, and the sad part is.
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It's about three minutes from your house yeah, the grocery store lady, I don't think I gotta put on clothes yes, that part you have to put on clothes stuck in the house.
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No right, I was like COVID changed my habits.
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My habits.
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It did you know I loved.
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I love wearing heels and stuff, but you ain't gonna do that around the house.
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I'm in sweats.
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I ain't even got to comb my hair.
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I ain't even got my wig on.
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If I don't feel like it, I can wear a bonnet all day.
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Yeah, covid definitely changed people.
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It just even mental health, like, if you think about it, we started talking about mental health during COVID because it impacted everybody in such a different way and so much.
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I realize how much.
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You miss being with people and around people you do.
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Yeah, you do, just staying at home and eating.
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I mean we just ate.
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It was so funny, I wanted to hug.
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So bad I was calling my aunts and everybody I was like I miss you.
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I just want a hug like you couldn't hug people like you can't touch people and people you know where, everybody you know you didn't know if they were affected or not.
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You had a test.
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I just need a hug.
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It was just so terrible, yeah, so that would affect people's mental health yeah, and it changed the world.
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Think about it.
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You used to be able to call your doctor and get in in at a week within a week.
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Now you wait six, seven months.
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I mean COVID changed everything.
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That was really traumatic.
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Did any of you lose?
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anyone close to you due to COVID.
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No, thank you, Jesus.
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You know what I didn't, I did not.
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Well, I mean, first of all, I can barely remember yesterday, let alone COVID.
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But to my knowledge, look, look.
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I don't want to say I didn't and be like girl you lost you, and be like, oh lord, I forgot.
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Um, to my knowledge, I don't think I lost anybody directly to me I've heard of people passing, but no one that I know I didn't that was such a blessing, though.
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But have you, is there something that you realize you're still dealing with, or or something that from your childhood that that you're still carrying with you, that still affects you?
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Yeah, that catches you.
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I mean that you're aware of, because a lot of stuff we're not even aware of yeah, I am, and I know I need to talk to somebody.
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I say that all the time I just feel like I ain't got time.
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But yeah, just feel like I ain't got time, but yeah, so, like you've mentioned, um, as far as content, you, you know, take pictures of yourself and do this and I don't.
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I hate and I'm so mad we didn't get a video of you the other night.
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That outfit you had on the other night, I don't like taking pictures.
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It is because my grandma rest in peace.
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Um, I think 10th grade my school pictures that came in and I was like, oh my god, I just look so ugly, I just look so terrible.
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And she's like well, pictures never lie.
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Is that what your grandmother said?
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oh my, god and when I tell you.
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I have carried that, yes, my whole life.
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I do not like taking pictures, I'm just like, yeah, but sometimes it's not about looking cute, it's about the moment, so it's not like you have to take a picture just to share it.
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All the time.
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I think now, with Instagram and everything, you always want to take a picture that's shareable, and I'll tell you this story.
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The last time I was with my brother and my mom and his girlfriend, we all went to Copeland's and my mom was like all right, let's go, just take a picture.
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I was like now, mom's go, I'm ready to go, I don't want to take the picture.
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And that was the last time that I saw him.
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Next time I saw him, he was in the hospital bed.
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Oh Jesus, and so I remember that and I was like, no, I'll just take the picture.
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That's why I said just take the picture.
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Because, even if it's not a great picture, it's still a memory.
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Yeah, just, I understand yours and I understand yours and for your grandma, your grandmother, your mother, whoever to say something like that to you would have to be trying to be funny with it, but as it's just the way you talk.
00:15:32.282 --> 00:15:32.601
It's hard.
00:15:37.602 --> 00:15:38.385
Yeah so.
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I, just, I just.
00:15:39.509 --> 00:15:40.230
You are beautiful.
00:15:40.230 --> 00:15:41.495
You should take a lot of pictures.
00:15:44.010 --> 00:15:45.274
Yes, some people are photogenic.
00:15:47.445 --> 00:15:48.466
I know my ministry is not being photogenic.
00:15:48.466 --> 00:15:53.437
Well, cut your head off, because your fashion is fierce Everything.
00:15:53.456 --> 00:15:54.438
You got no package.
00:15:54.438 --> 00:15:55.399
That's something.
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I'm going to walk on.
00:15:56.221 --> 00:15:56.863
I can't judge y'all.
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That's no.
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That's something you're going to walk on.
00:15:58.907 --> 00:15:59.567
You're out of my head.
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