March 25, 2025
Nobody Warned US
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In this video, we share our honest experience with menopause symptoms like hot flashes, frequent urination, and vision changes. Nobody warned us about these changes, so we're here to talk about it openly and offer some tips for managing these symptoms.
Nobody Warned Us About Menopause: It’s More Than Hot Flashes is the brutally honest, laugh-out-loud series that spills the real tea on menopause—the good, the bad, and the downright sweaty. Everyone talks about hot flashes like they’re the worst part, but what about the brain fog that makes you forget why you walked into a room? Or the mood swings that have you crying over a dog food commercial one minute and ready to fight your mailman the next?
This series dives into all the things they should have warned us about—like waking up at 3 AM for no reason, suddenly needing a fan in every room, or realizing your sex drive has either disappeared completely or turned into a raging teenager. With hilarious personal stories, expert advice, and real talk about everything from weight gain to weird body changes, Nobody Warned Us About Menopause is your survival guide to this wild ride.
So, grab a cold drink (because, let’s be real, you’re probably overheating right now), and join us as we laugh, vent, and figure this menopause thing out together. Because if we don’t laugh about it, we might just start crying again!
💬 Join the conversation! Follow us on social media to see our weekly questions, then leave us a voicemail at timelessandunfiltered.com. Your message might be featured in an upcoming episode! Watch us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@TimelessandUnfilteredPodcast.
📸 Instagram: @timelessandunfiltered
📘 Facebook: @timelessandunfiltered
🎵 TikTok: @timelessandunfiltered
🌐 Website: timelessandunfiltered.com
Transcript
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00:00:00.923 --> 00:00:02.967
But you remember when you used to wet the whole bed.
00:00:02.967 --> 00:00:05.939
When did that stop?
00:00:07.596 --> 00:00:08.000
When did that stop?
00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:09.454
I think it depends on the person.
00:00:09.454 --> 00:00:11.929
Honestly, he's still young.
00:00:12.301 --> 00:00:14.960
See, you're still messing with the women that still wet up the whole bed.
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When did that stop and what happened?
00:00:17.628 --> 00:00:18.971
to it the right person had you?
00:00:19.682 --> 00:00:30.047
No, the right person will, but if you just looked at this, Look at me Now.
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you had the man like trying to comment.
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Can I try it out?
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It was more than just a flat.
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No, it was hot.
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It was hot because it scared him for a minute.
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This is Legra.
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This is Stephanie.
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This is Cherie and this is Legra.
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This is Stephanie.
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This is Cherie.
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And this is Ivanya, and this is Timeless and Unfiltered where we are spilling the tea on midlife one laugh at a time.
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Welcome to another episode of Timeless and Unfiltered I, I'm stephanie, I'm sharice and I'm ivania, and we would like you to like, follow and subscribe.
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click that button we don't know where to put the button somewhere on the screen like follow and subscribe thank you, thank you, thank, because we're going to spill the tea on midlife.
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One laugh at a time One laugh at a time.
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Well, let's jump right in.
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Let's talk about things you wish somebody had told us about or warned us about, this stage of life, about midlife.
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I'm going to start with my vision.
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Let's just start with that.
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I didn't know.
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I wouldn't be able to see.
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I love to read and I don't read very often because even with glasses it's hard to see and I don't know when I stopped being able to read the pill bottle, I know.
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Or if I'm cooking something in the kitchen, trying to read.
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I don't read as much, but it's my vision.
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Yeah, I think that's dark.
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I don't know when it starts.
00:02:05.424 --> 00:02:20.961
I had went and got lasik because I couldn't see far away I think, just nearsighted I couldn't see far away and I think at the time I was like 30, 35, 36 and the doctor was like oh, you're approaching 40, you might want to go get an eye for reading.
00:02:20.961 --> 00:02:25.388
I might need no reading eye and I thought I was gonna have like mismatched eyes.
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I was thinking real stupid and he was like, no, as you approach 40, your eye loses this elasticity oh, he was like you're gonna need reading glasses.
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Everyone is, and I'm like, man, I'm good, I'm good.
00:02:36.300 --> 00:02:40.489
Oh man, I so wish I did it, because now I'm back to wearing glasses.
00:02:40.489 --> 00:02:50.229
I had a surgery so I wouldn't need glasses, and now I'm right back wearing glasses because I didn't get the um eye for reading and then I could have got.
00:02:50.248 --> 00:02:52.193
You could have gotten the distance.
00:02:52.193 --> 00:02:53.984
Yeah, one eye for reading.
00:02:54.003 --> 00:02:57.451
That's what Kyra did, so she waited like five years after my lacing.
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She's like you, you ain't going blind and nothing over there, are you?
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And I was like no girl.
00:03:01.276 --> 00:03:02.200
I'm about to go get the.
00:03:02.200 --> 00:03:12.639
Uh, the, the, the surgery and she doesn't have to wear reading glasses because she went and I was like oh man, so you can't, you can't have it redone.
00:03:12.639 --> 00:03:14.645
No, he said, once they do it.
00:03:14.705 --> 00:03:20.469
I can't come back and have it done, but check and see, because there's new stuff out there, because I saw another doctor that says they do different types of surgery.
00:03:20.469 --> 00:03:26.703
I couldn't tell you what they're called because I had LASIK also and I'm to the point where I'm about to start needing readers, and I don't want to.
00:03:27.405 --> 00:03:28.628
So I'm going to check it out.
00:03:28.628 --> 00:03:33.325
Let me know if you get to it before I do, because I don't like glasses.
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Glasses give me headaches, they press me.
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They make this little thing.
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When they don't, they'll go right back to having that I got rid of that now they may have changed technology now so you may be able to get another surgery.
00:03:46.727 --> 00:03:47.848
Because I'm waiting for mine.
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No one told me about the vision.
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What about you?
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No one told you about it that I'm going to have to pee more or can't hold it Can't hold it.
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As a kid, my mom said don't hold your pee, just go to the bathroom.
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I'm going to hold mine.
00:04:00.784 --> 00:04:01.628
I'm going to pee all day.
00:04:01.628 --> 00:04:11.104
I hate waking up in the middle of the night.
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Use the bathroom, that's one thing.
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I just oh my god, hold it, then you have the pee dream like am I in the bathroom?
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the pee.
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Dream like I'm.
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I'm in the bathroom but nothing's coming out, and it's like my body tell me don't pee in this bed like get up and go to the bathroom.
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I'm like it's just not coming, I coming to campaign.
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I've never had a dream because you lazy and subconsciously your brain is like bitch you gotta pee get up, go to, but you don't want to get up and pee.
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So then now it's like in your dream you gotta pee.
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You need to get up and pee.
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It's a pee dream.
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Yeah, I haven't had a pee dream well, I didn't know if that's what's called.
00:04:47.829 --> 00:04:57.908
That's why I call it the pd or that when you start getting older, um and if you have any type of bladder inconsistencies, if you, if I sneeze, oh that one.
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If you're a little squirt of piss, yeah, so you're pissing, yeah no, and I'm working out if I'm choking and coughing, oh my.
00:05:06.214 --> 00:05:10.879
If I'm jumping, if I do jumping jacks, yeah, you're like ha yeah, no one warned me.
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Nobody told me about that one.
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I wasn't warned and I know it don't happen to everybody.
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Yeah, that happens.
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No, but my doctor OBGYN says it's very common.
00:05:19.403 --> 00:05:20.826
I mean, sure it is.
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I'm just glad I hadn't got that yet, or hopefully I don't get that.
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But, if you do Kegels, sometimes it could pull Kegels.
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Yeah so they say sit down do it.
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You got to do a lot.
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Just the thought that you were sitting there flexing on the couch.
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Yeah the noni egg, you do the egg.
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No, I just I barely Kegel if she watches this, but it's still funny to me to this day.
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She was, you know, when they they do the kegel eggs and they have like the glass ones.
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Yeah, she, she had a glass egg and she was you know, she does it when you're chilling around the house or whatever, and she's chilling around the house.
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She got her egg in.
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Well, she got company and she forgot the egg was in.
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Oh yeah, she forgot the egg was in and you know, you know they start messing around a little bit or whatever.
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And she remembered the egg and was like um, wait, hold on a second and pop the egg.
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She didn't tell him that she had it in there.
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She said it was some fluids on the egg and stuff and at first it freaked him out and then he got excited about it Go to hell you pop an egg.
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What else can you do?
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What other tricks you got?
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I still remember when she called to tell me that I said you did what she said, girl, I just was like wait, hold on, and popped the egg out.
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But yeah, but she said it really helps with kegels and stuff to build your bladder, your pelvic floor, really, yeah, your pelvic floor because that's what it is whatever exercise you can do, ladies, please don't but yeah, I haven't had the the sneeze and I can't hold it like I used to.
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Yeah, so if I say, oh, I gotta pee, it can wait, just no, it can't let me go and go to yeah.
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So if I say, oh, I got to pee.
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It can wait, just go.
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No, it can't.
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Let me go and go to the bathroom.
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See, I'm a camel.
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I can hold mine forever.
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That's the one thing I can do Unless you sneeze, unless I sneeze, I'll be like oh shit, oh my God, and I went to the doctor and I walk around smelling like little pissy so he didn't know he was like I don't know girl.
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Yes, he looked like prince.
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He's so little and petite and cute and so when he left the nurse she's a woman of our age.
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She's like that's because we're not emptying our bladder fully so she said, when you go to the bathroom and pee, she said because you always have maybe like two or three drops that you didn't get out so she was like you lean forward and squeeze.
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I do that them and see I I didn't know that and she said that's why you'll smell pee.
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And she said because you might have two, two to three little drops left that you didn't get out.
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So she said lean over and squeeze.
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And she said you hear them little things yeah, you do and then, you'll be fine.
00:08:01.341 --> 00:08:01.922
I was like nobody.
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I never know, I never heard that.
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Well, I've never heard that.
00:08:04.084 --> 00:08:06.369
Yeah, I do Every time that I use the bathroom.
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when I finish, I lean forward, yeah.
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And almost do a Kegel exercise.
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Yeah, I was going to say in Swedish and that last little two, three drops come out, I'm like yep, now I'm done, so you walk around smelling fresh all day.
00:08:19.947 --> 00:08:23.408
Sometimes you say the random farts, okay, nobody told.
00:08:23.408 --> 00:08:27.973
Well, I think part of it is because things you used to be able to eat you can't eat anymore.
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You're not eating as much Like you know, even us, we had lunch earlier today.
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I had to run upstairs and go to the bathroom Like what is my body doing?
00:08:38.581 --> 00:08:50.505
Something I ate said nope, uh-uh, ma'am, you don't know that, uh-uh, ma no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no.
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No no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:08:59.828 --> 00:09:00.889
It's just health issues.
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You have to just get it all out.
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You don't want to have digestive.
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Well, you already know, one of my biggest ones too, is the hot flashes.
00:09:06.991 --> 00:09:11.333
But I used to see women have hot flashes.
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But I think until you start to have them, you don't understand it, you don't get it.
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So the hot flashes, as I'm sitting here right now with our fifth co-host, the fan.
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But it's even worse I haven't slept.
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I haven't slept probably in over a year where I can say I've slept through the night, and probably over a year.
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Why does it keep you from sleeping?
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Because I have hot flashes during my sleep, and so I'm sleep.
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I gotta get out of the covers because I'm hot.
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Now I'm freezing.
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I gotta put.
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I probably take my covers on and off a good 10 to 15 times every night.
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I haven't had a full night's sleep in probably at least over a year.
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I don't sleep, which is why, when the morning comes now, you're exhausted so you pass out and fall asleep and you need to get up.
00:10:01.304 --> 00:10:01.947
I got work to do.
00:10:01.947 --> 00:10:04.006
I don't have time to sleep till 10, 11 o'clock.
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I'm exhausted.
00:10:04.870 --> 00:10:06.645
I haven't slept all night.
00:10:08.264 --> 00:10:08.809
What causes them?
00:10:08.809 --> 00:10:09.580
Do we know what causes them?
00:10:09.580 --> 00:10:12.259
I have night sweats, real bad Night sweats.
00:10:12.259 --> 00:10:14.673
I'm like kicking my leg out trying to get in.
00:10:15.020 --> 00:10:18.926
Put that one leg out, I wake up and that's why he be like you just be stripping.
00:10:31.980 --> 00:10:32.481
You be butt naked naked.
00:10:32.481 --> 00:10:34.206
Then you're like I'm cool, but you know that's estrogen covers up, that's your estrogen.
00:10:34.206 --> 00:10:35.029
You need to have your estrogen tested.
00:10:35.029 --> 00:10:38.360
Um, but the moment I'm clear medically for estrogen, that's the first thing, the first thing I will be blind with bifocal zone, but my estrogen gonna be all right.
00:10:38.900 --> 00:10:44.405
I might not be able to see, but I'm going to get that estrogen because that you know, for me it's my quality of life.
00:10:44.405 --> 00:10:45.312
This man look all this because there's going to hair that estrogen, because for me it's my quality of life.
00:10:45.312 --> 00:10:48.610
This band look all this because there's growing a hair in my face.
00:10:48.610 --> 00:10:50.988
But I'm hot all the time.
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I'm tired of my underwear being wet.
00:10:53.547 --> 00:10:54.129
Like I am.
00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:57.711
So I will sit here soaking wet for no reason.
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And it's worse at night.
00:10:59.667 --> 00:11:01.245
It's worse at night.
00:11:01.245 --> 00:11:03.207
So you're burning up and you're freezing.
00:11:03.207 --> 00:11:04.761
You're burning up and you're freezing.
00:11:04.761 --> 00:11:20.623
I've been in Walmart damn near naked because I'm coming out my clothes, I'm coming out, and when they first started I didn't realize or recognize what it was, because I mean, you heard about it, but I'm having hot flashes.
00:11:20.623 --> 00:11:20.903
What is that?
00:11:20.903 --> 00:11:22.148
Literally, I was in Walmart in the checkout line.
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It was a long line behind me.
00:11:22.931 --> 00:11:26.260
Fortunately, my checkout lady was a little bit older lady.
00:11:26.260 --> 00:11:37.332
I was like I couldn't, and when it happens sometimes I can't hear you Because you're that hot, I'm so hot, I can't focus on what we're talking about right now.
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I got to solve this Right.
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You know what I'm saying so.
00:11:40.388 --> 00:12:00.565
I was in the checkout line and I had a major hot flash when they first started and I didn't really know what it was and everything and I was like I think I'm having a hot flash and the lady was like she just made her take your time, I can't, I can't check out right now because I can't focus on trying to give you my card Like I can't even.
00:12:00.565 --> 00:12:03.842
I'm barely I'm going to pass out and remember we were in Jamaica.
00:12:03.863 --> 00:12:05.668
I was going to say how did you survive Jamaica?
00:12:05.668 --> 00:12:06.591
Oh, no yeah.
00:12:07.841 --> 00:12:21.831
I kept going in and out the air condition but we went and when we had to go see Princess, I remember I almost fainted, oh Lord, because one I'm internally burning up and then I have the extra heat.
00:12:22.039 --> 00:12:23.908
So I've already told my doctor.
00:12:23.908 --> 00:12:29.408
And then mine are really bad because I'm One, your estrogen gets low.
00:12:29.408 --> 00:12:38.918
Now, before my diagnosis I was getting hormone therapy and the great thing about it is, when you get estrogen, your hot flashes will stop in 24 hours.
00:12:38.918 --> 00:12:42.975
You'll never have another one as long because your estrogen levels off.
00:12:42.975 --> 00:12:47.397
But because of the type of cancer I had, is estrogen driven.
00:12:47.397 --> 00:12:49.950
They're blocking my estrogen.
00:12:49.950 --> 00:12:50.631
So I'm on.
00:12:50.631 --> 00:12:53.677
I take a pill every night before I go to bed to block estrogen.
00:12:53.677 --> 00:12:56.652
So when I go to bed I'm in hell.
00:12:56.652 --> 00:12:58.677
I'm in hell.
00:12:58.677 --> 00:13:00.051
I'm in hell all day.
00:13:00.051 --> 00:13:04.034
So it's messing with my quality of life.
00:13:04.034 --> 00:13:05.485
So I told my doctor.
00:13:05.485 --> 00:13:07.008
And then they give you.
00:13:07.008 --> 00:13:17.495
Amazingly enough, they gave me Cymbalta, which is the depression medicine, and I was like well, why am I getting depression medicine?
00:13:17.495 --> 00:13:21.416
Well, you know, my little godson is a pharmacist.
00:13:21.416 --> 00:13:23.150
Why are they giving me?
00:13:24.346 --> 00:13:29.474
You know, so I had to ask someone and he said is something in the Cymbalta that's supposed to, because Cymbalta is for depression that's supposed to level off.
00:13:29.474 --> 00:13:33.764
It's for other stuff though, yeah, but it's supposed to, um, because cymbaltas for depression, that's supposed to level off.
00:13:34.628 --> 00:13:39.085
Yeah, but it's supposed to be for so many things it's supposed to level off my body temperature.
00:13:39.966 --> 00:13:43.594
So they're trying to find other methods than giving me estrogen.
00:13:43.594 --> 00:13:45.578
So but I already told them.
00:13:45.578 --> 00:13:49.100
Well, it didn't work, so they gave me something else, but I'm giving.
00:13:49.100 --> 00:13:55.629
I just started it, maybe about a week or two ago, and I told him once we I'm going to give it 60 days, but after 60 days.
00:13:55.890 --> 00:14:02.268
I'm coming off everything I'm not taking, I'm not taking the blocker, I'm not taking a single solitary thing, I quit.
00:14:02.268 --> 00:14:16.702
Oh god, you know, I, you know, could I got a double mastectomy to limit the risk?
00:14:16.702 --> 00:14:20.711
So now I can't sit around worried every day.
00:14:20.731 --> 00:14:22.176
I'm gonna have, I'm gonna get cancer.
00:14:22.196 --> 00:14:22.886
I'm gonna get cancer.
00:14:22.886 --> 00:14:24.815
Look, I tried your way.
00:14:24.815 --> 00:14:31.635
It's not working and it is really messing with my quality of life and for me, my life and joy is more important.
00:14:31.635 --> 00:14:39.330
So if I got a good ten years, if I got a good 10 years, if I got a good 20, I'm going out with a bang, but I ain't going to be sitting around here with hot flashes.
00:14:39.330 --> 00:14:40.032
I can't do this.
00:14:40.032 --> 00:14:41.856
I can't do this.
00:14:41.856 --> 00:14:43.208
I can't sleep.
00:14:43.208 --> 00:14:44.614
I'm exhausted, I'm tired.
00:14:44.614 --> 00:14:48.394
Nobody told you that hot flashes could be this severe.
00:14:48.394 --> 00:14:49.537
I didn't know it.
00:14:55.409 --> 00:14:57.399
I thought it was just going to be a little sweat on my forehead.
00:14:57.399 --> 00:14:58.705
This is going to take me down and I'm not doing it.
00:14:58.705 --> 00:15:03.000
So nobody told me hot flashes were this bad and I was going to walk around like the old lady with the fan everywhere, and then your joints.
00:15:03.019 --> 00:15:11.057
I think we didn't talk about our joints feeling hurting and not being able to drop it like we want to drop it anymore, but it happens overnight.
00:15:12.727 --> 00:15:21.359
It happens overnight, but even more so, even more than just the physical stuff, that happens um midlife.
00:15:21.359 --> 00:15:25.610
I know we were talking, or having that conversation, about people having to come out of retirement.
00:15:25.610 --> 00:15:27.693
Managing your money.
00:15:27.693 --> 00:15:31.777
Managing your money you think you have all the time in the world.
00:15:31.777 --> 00:15:47.206
You think about that 401k and for those of you that move jobs and you take your 401k or you cash out your 401k and then all of a sudden you look up, you're 55 years old and you don't have a retirement plan be a public working until you're 80.
00:15:47.506 --> 00:15:52.056
Yeah, you know and that's that's one of my fears is and.
00:15:52.056 --> 00:15:54.025
Sharisse, and I talk about this all the time too, Charisse.
00:15:54.025 --> 00:15:55.091
What don't we talk about?
00:15:55.091 --> 00:16:15.437
We talk about everything don't we, Because I've said it 10 times we talk about this all the time and shout out to all the people seniors that are working, customer service and stuff and the Walmarts, and we're not in Target right now, but you know, the fast food places are such a service job.
00:16:15.966 --> 00:16:21.214
Because a lot of them are there because they have to be there, not because they want to be, it's inflation.
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Not because they want to be, and my biggest fear is that I'm not ready for retirement.
00:16:25.833 --> 00:16:34.485
When it's time for me to sit down, I can't sit down, so I think that's one reason why, too, too, I also work so hard, because my clock is a ticking.
00:16:35.490 --> 00:16:42.792
I need money, yeah so I feel we make money, but we don't always save money because we always think, well, yeah, it'll be fine, like it's so far away.
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