Transcript
WEBVTT
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I want to talk about self-care.
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As busy as we are, different directions, we're running in and traveling and I just kind of want to talk to you, ladies, about what you do for self-care.
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I need help.
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We do so much and we do so much for everybody you know, and we just sit back and be like damn I'm tired.
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And then when you have children, think about how often you have to show up for your kids.
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I mean regardless of their age, because who said to stop at 18?
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That was the biggest lie they ever told it don't.
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This is Legra.
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This is Stephanie.
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This is Cherie and this is Evanya.
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Stephanie, this is Cherie and this is Ivanya.
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And this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on midlife, one laugh at a time.
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We are back for another episode of Timeless and Unfiltered and y'all make sure y'all follow us on all social media platforms at timeless and unfiltered, go to our website at timeless and unfilteredcom and subscribe on youtube if y'all want to take a look and catch us doing our thing on video but anyway, this is legra this is stephanie, this is sharice evania.
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And again, this is timeless and unfiltered where we are here to spill the tea on midlife.
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One laugh at a time, one laugh at a time.
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What's going on?
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Nothing and everything.
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There you go.
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We just busy.
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Yeah, always, always, always busy.
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What's going on with y'all?
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That's it.
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No, I think for me guys, I want to talk about self-care, because as busy as we are and the different directions we're running in and traveling and work and scooters and whatever else we have going on, I just kind of want to talk to you ladies about what you do for self-care.
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I need help, I mean, but like okay, but for real y'all we can, and I think it's for women period.
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We do so much, and we do so much for everybody.
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You know, and we just sit back and be like damn I'm tired.
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And then, when you have children, think about how, how often you really have to show up for your kids.
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I mean regardless of their age, because who said to stop at 18?
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that was the biggest lie they ever told right, it don't um the biggest lie, and so like we're caught, don't Right and don't the biggest lie, and so like we're constantly, don't stop.
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So I think we constantly move and, to be honest, being where we are in our moment of middle age and trying to figure it out and still having to carry for lack of a better term some of the burdens or try to release it, whichever one that is, at the same time can be a bit taxing.
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I think it just comes into trying to build some boundaries to protect yourself, but still trying to be loving and intentional to the people that you love.
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And so it's like how do we?
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How do I self-care myself?
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Like I think I'm doing okay, right, but what does that really look like?
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What does it really mean?
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Like what are you guys?
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doing.
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We're special creatures.
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I want to say that as far as being women because of everything we go through.
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We go through periods, we go through childbirth, we go through menopause.
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We're just like natural nurturers and so we just want to take care of everything and everybody.
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I think it's just innate, it's just who we are, and so it is important for us to figure out well, how do I take care of myself, and at what point do you begin taking care of yourself?
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I've noticed one thing about the younger generation, the younger women they don't play.
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I see them on social media.
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They do a lot of self-care.
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And I'm like man I never.
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I didn't even think about it back then.
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I guess because I was raising children.
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I never thought well, when the kids go down, do something for yourself.
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I just was doing something else to prepare for the next day so.
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I think for me.
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I'm just now coming into the self care the older I've gotten it now that my kids are gone and even though they're gone, they're not gone right.
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But now I have the boundaries where they're like monkey, I know and I can't, and now I'm starting to do more for myself, whereas I wasn't.
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But I applaud the younger women that started early.
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What kind of things are you doing Getting my lashes done.
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I don't know what my lashes my real lashes look like anymore.
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I've had them for years.
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I got a Bomb Girl Shout out to teacher Christy Beauty, but that's the one thing.
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If I don't do my nails, which y'all see, I'll throw on some press-ons real quick because I find out that they're becoming too much to spend money on and I'm like this is just ridiculous.
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They're expensive now.
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They used to be $20 to go get a pool set.
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Now it's $65.
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And I'm like yeah, press on, press me on.
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And I would say the one thing that I do do faithfully is my lashes, and I do my own hair and stuff.
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Because you will color your hair in a minute.
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Color, cut, curl something, and I do that for myself.
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I have the money to go do it, but I'm like use that money on something else and then I'll spend um more money on myself if I see a purse I want or shoes, because back in the day I couldn't with all them kids.
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Now I'm like I just do whatever I want to do and buy what I want to buy, and so now I'm finally taking care of myself.
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That's just my form of self-care just indulging on myself for once and not caring and telling kids yeah, I ain't got it, but I'm about to go buy this bag I don't have it for you, but I'm about to go buy this bag for me because I feel like I've sacrificed a
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lot now shit we do we do what about?
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you.
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Ivania.
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So I suffer from anxiety.
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So I feel like self-care for me is kind of pausing and taking a moment when I realize those moments are coming.
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So now it's just more of just breathing.
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So I do have certain apps or music that I listen to that calm me down.
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I started getting facials every month.
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So shout out to Tiffany.
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I started getting my hair done twice a month.
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All right, all right.
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Shout out to Dominique All right, all right.
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Things that I couldn't do, I'll say, even three, four years ago.
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So now I'm starting to do these things for me.
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Not my hands, but my feet done it's okay, all the time I keep those done.
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Sometimes it's just sitting in bed and not doing anything.
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I think sometimes self-care is just not doing anything Because we're always doing something, we're always looking for.
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I have to do this, Even in my head.
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I have to do this.
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Sometimes it's just doing nothing, which is rare.
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But to do nothing sometimes is the best thing you can do for self-care.
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And I think I want to do that more often.
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It is Sometimes it's just talking to a friend.
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It's okay, like you know, just chilling and hey girl, what you doing, how you doing.
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So it's a lot of things, but you know.
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I'm getting better at doing more for me, because you know you do have this list of things you have to take care of everything of.
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But now putting myself at the top of that list has been my self-care.
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That's fun.
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I actually find joy just laying in my bed and not doing nothing all day, Because I don't get to do that that often and I just feel so lazy.
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But I feel so proud and so good that I'm just lazy and I just get to actually watch something on TV.
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God, it's so hard for me to do it here, like at home or in the United States.
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It's so hard for me because there's just it's still for lack of a better term the noise still comes in for me.
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You know what I mean when people know you're here, you're home, you're whatever, it's still ringing.
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And so, now that I'm thinking about it, yeah, but self-care is when I'm gone, because when you're gone out of the country, when you think about it people know you're not home or you're gone, so they leave you alone.
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That's true, yeah, like everybody leaves you alone when you're gone.
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Yeah, I think that's why I travel so much.
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You think that's why you travel so much yeah.
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Now that I've done it, I might have just had a breakthrough.
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Yeah, right now.
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Yeah, and that makes sense.
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And when you said that that's the most enjoyable time time for me, when I'm away and people may not be able to reach me on my phone, like I go on a cruise, I don't have my phone out at all.
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I can't even say the whole time and no one can call me, no one can bother me and I could just.
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That is really self care to get away to wake up.
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You don't have to worry about the time.
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What's happening and aware is the same thing is still really going on here but you're just gone, you're in charge.
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You just take it out of your brain.
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So, yeah.
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I already know when I retire.
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I'm living in Costa Rica for two months and Mexico for two months.
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Stay away from everybody.
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And I'm going somewhere else for two months and I'm just about to just be a nomad because we're going to miss you we're going to miss you.
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Where are you at, girl?
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We're coming down.
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We're going to miss you.
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We just talked about going to Mexico City together.
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No, we're going to do this together.
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You're going to do what I do want to go to Mexico City.
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We're going to mexico city together but it's, it's amazing, I really do like it, but yeah, I, yeah, I realize that my self-care is away, getting away from it my self-care?
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I don't think I really do self-care just to be honest um, but I need to.
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It's.
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It's little things and I think just because when you have a health scare, all of a sudden everything your world becomes that.
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So you know, I get the hydration IVs, that's good.
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Which I actually really love and, as a matter of fact, after this surgery, this upcoming surgery, I'll get back on my schedule.
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But I bought a membership to get hydration IVs and the great thing about it is they have so many different kinds.
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Like I always do it before I travel, they have an immunity IV to boost up your immune system, and vitamin C and all that stuff.
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You know I'm trying to grow my hair back and all that stuff.
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They have one that's for skin nails, biotin, you know, and the great thing about it is, with the, the IVs one is I don't drink enough water.
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Let's start with that.
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I don't, just I don't drink enough water.
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It's equivalent of drinking like two and a half gallons of water.
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Love it because it's injected directly into your vein, so like when you drink regular water.
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That's why you got to pee every five minutes.
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A lot of it has not been absorbed into your system.
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Versus when it's injected into your bloodstream, you're getting 100% of whatever you're putting in your bloodstream V12, they have the.
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Myers cocktail, which is the most common one, has all your vitamins, minerals and all that stuff that your body is supposed to have.
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So I've been really lucky because after chemo and where chemo tears you down, I started going getting IVs.
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I was getting IVs every week.
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Remember, I was going every single week and built my body back up like replenish all my vitamins and minerals and all that stuff, but it makes me feel amazing, especially after um.
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You know you get some energy and b12 and right all of that stuff.
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You know your vitamin d is low.
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That's another thing, ladies, that yeah, as africanAmericans, our vitamin D is naturally lower, for whatever reason.
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I'm sorry.
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We're not out in the sun.
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I don't have enough scientific, even though we're sun people.
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We don't have enough scientific background.
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We're inside more.
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Yeah, we're not in the sun as much, yeah, so I get vitamin D shots.
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That's great, and you're stretching right yeah.
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Oh yeah, stretching right.
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Yeah, oh yeah, um, I started stretch zone, um they had which I never knew, that even existed because all the aches, the pains, your joints and let's just be honest that that leg don't go up all the way up?
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no more.
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Hell.
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The knee don't even be right, no more you know all of that.
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So there's a place um.
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They have different places that will just do nothing but stretch your body for you.
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So they go in and kind of test and see how far you can go and all that good stuff.
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So you're going to split some, right?
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No, I couldn't do a split then.
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We're going to split.
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I was that little girl that could never do splits.
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Shatice and I are working on doing a split.
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What y'all doing to work on?
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it.
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You just have to stretch every day, like you would be surprised how low you'll start getting when you start doing it.
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But you really have to stretch the muscles.
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Well, right now I can't even bend down to get to the floor.
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Well, your stretch class is going to get you there, but I am determined that I am going to do a split with baby girl.
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I love it.
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I want to do a split and I want to twerk.
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Oh, so you want to?
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do a split.
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We need a twerk class.
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I do.
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I do want to twerk.
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Don't laugh at your mama.
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I want to twerk.
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I mean I don't want to.
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Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to be one of them.
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Old ass.
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Andrea Kelly does that.
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Yeah, she do.
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She could do a split end.
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She's also a trained professional dancer.
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She's been doing this all her life.
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But my body as the athlete girl stuff didn't wiggle like that.
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My butt was always so firm.
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I was like why it don't wiggle?
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Like that and don't be wrong, it's not about you having a big butt or whatever, because I've seen the smallest and littlest skinny girl but for whatever reason, my butt don't move like that and I just want to do it so I can have it in my sexual prowess repertoire from the last episode.
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For that little man Right.
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He's a little man, he's going to blow his mind.
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I episode that little man he's going to blow his mind.
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He's going to blow his mind.
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I want to learn how to twerk my butt.
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Don't twerk.
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For some reason it can.
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I want it, so look so for self-care.
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Well, I used to belly dance.
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Yeah, and it was cold.
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That's what I was going to bring up.
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I used to belly dance.
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I still know how to do all the moves and all that kind of stuff.
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But I love that and I keep saying I'm going to find me another class and stuff.
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But what I?
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loved about.
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It was the largest the instructor that I had at the time.
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She made you you had if you were wearing a t-shirt, you had to tie a knot in the front, you had to have your stomach out.
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She didn't care if you had the biggest stomach in the world, but I'm going to tell you it's women and we're women in there.
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I guarantee you pushing 300 pounds and they was in there, but they looked beautiful.
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There's something about it.
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It makes you feel sexy yeah and the way, even their stomach, the way that it rolled, even though they had large stomachs, the way that they could control it and roll their stomachs.
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But you can sit back and watch and you can see that woman just transform.
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Like you come in and you, you know you're all in your clothes and now you know, like you didn't did the warm-up exercises and then once, especially the women that had you know a little bit of background in or have taken several classes, you can see how the sexiness just came out of them, that they felt sexy.
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They felt sexy, it looked sexy, it didn't matter what size you were and honestly, in their culture, that culture, the bigger women are the sexy women, so they it was beautiful, I loved it.
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I loved how it made you feel and I loved you could see it in the other women how it made them feel.
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Love that.
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So I would love to be able to take start belly dancing again.
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Find a class.
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You know I'm gonna follow you Cause she is so good at it.
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No, not anymore.
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No, you were and I was like oh, gosh, I want to do it now you would
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show us like it's very, it's very easy.
00:16:23.902 --> 00:16:32.283
Well, no, let me repeat it, it's not easy, it's not just isolating and controlling yeah, I think it's a mind thing.
00:16:32.283 --> 00:16:39.913
Yeah, but now I feel like I'm so stiff and my joints ache and my knees it, will it really?
00:16:39.913 --> 00:16:42.381
Will so that, but there's a lot of things I'm going to do.
00:16:42.381 --> 00:16:44.975
You know this is this should be my last surgery.
00:16:45.397 --> 00:16:50.351
Well, this will be my last surgery and there's a lot of things that I want to do, but I was a gym rat.
00:16:50.392 --> 00:17:03.346
I love the gym and you know, part of my therapy, part of my self-care, will be also therapy, because I've developed some anxiety that I never had before.
00:17:03.346 --> 00:17:11.324
So I need to figure out what's going on with that, because that'll help me to get back out and do some of the things that I want to do.
00:17:11.324 --> 00:17:14.200
But I look forward to all the things.
00:17:14.200 --> 00:17:15.836
I want to dance more.